


Mission: Family

by ash_mcj



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Foster Care, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Bucky Barnes, Kid Clint Barton, Kid Peter Parker, Kid Tony Stark, Mental Health Issues, Mission Related, Multi, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23326024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ash_mcj/pseuds/ash_mcj
Summary: “I don’t think I understand.” Steve said, staring at Nick Fury as if the man had just asked him to grow wings and fly out the window. Shock, disbelief, confusion.“Yeah, I think I might be misunderstanding, as well.” Bruce agreed, fidgeting with his hands nervously. “Are you...I mean, what it sounded like...taking in these kids, it’s kind of--”“Are you actually asking us to become Foster Parents for fuck ups?” Happy cut the doctor off.“No...I’m ordering you to, as agents and employees of S.H.I.E.L.D.” Fury told them bluntly.***(Or a fic where these three guys that have absolutely zero experience in child care are given a mission to take care of a group of troublesome orphaned teenagers, many with superpowers, that have made it onto S.H.I.E.L.D radar. They are now responsible for keeping them out of trouble...but it's three against seven, and no one was trained for this.)(Teenage Avengers [except for Steve and Bruce, obviously] so prepare for lot of humor and trouble)
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Steve Rogers & Happy Hogan
Comments: 53
Kudos: 141
Collections: Kid Fic Avengers





	1. o n e

**Author's Note:**

> I have too much time in Quarantine and too much of a love for Marvel to NOT write this, so here we go...

“I don’t think I understand.” Steve said, staring at Nick Fury as if the man had just asked him to grow wings and fly out the window. Shock, disbelief, confusion. 

“Yeah, I think I might be misunderstanding, as well.” Bruce agreed, fidgeting with his hands nervously. “Are you...I mean, what it sounded like...taking in these kids, it’s kind of--”

“Are you actually asking us to become Foster Parents for fuck ups?” Happy cut the doctor off.

“No...I’m ordering you to, as agents and employees of S.H.I.E.L.D..” Fury told them bluntly.

“When does this start?” Steve asked, accepting his fate. It’s not like he had any room to argue with his boss. “Where will we live?”

“There’s a five bedroom house just outside of New York City that you will move into until the mission is over. I don’t know how you guys are going to determine sleeping arrangements and I don’t care. There are bunk beds in three of the rooms, along with an additional single in the third bedroom. The other two bedrooms can be for you guys. There’s a basement, if someone wants to sleep down there. Again, I don’t care. Your mission starts tonight. You three will head to the house when we are done here and get settled in, then the boys will be over later. Any questions?”

“Uh, I actually do have--” Bruce began, but was swiftly cut off by Fury.

“Great.” Fury said, standing up and motioning for the door to his office. “I’m a busy man.”

The men shuffled out of the room and looked at each other, all sporting a look along the lines of ‘what are we going to do?’

***

As Fury had said, it was a five-bedroom house with a basement. Upon walking in, the men found that they were in a fully-furnished living room. It wasn’t all that big, but there were three couches in a ‘U’ shape facing the television, so at least they would have a place to sit. There were two sets of stairs off to the side of the living room, one going up and one down.

“I can take the basement.” Bruce offered, looking at the downward stairs. “It would probably give me more room for my lab equipment. Fury still wants me working on some stuff for him concurrently with this mission.”

“That settles that then.” Steve smiled. “Hogan and I will be upstairs with the, uh...the kids.”

The three of them had known each other for a few years, but not very well. Working together and chatting on breaks was a lot different than living together, after all.

“I’m going to go put my stuff in my room before the kids get here and we're just standing in a circle with our duffle bags, looking like we don’t know what’s going on.” Happy told them, before heading up the stairs. That seemed to prompt the other two to do the same.

They unpacked their clothes into the dressers and placed their other little belongings they had brought around the room. The rooms were all decorated with a very homey, very...normal feel. No helicarrier dorms here. None of them were too sure how to feel about it, but it didn’t matter much. They were here until further notice.

***

They didn’t come out of their rooms until nearly six at night, when there was a firm knock on the front door, which made them all practically run to the living room. They all had anxiety about this, but none of them were going to say anything. They were agents, after all. This was just a mission.

“Is someone going to get the door, or?” Happy suggested. 

Steve seemed to think he was talking to him, because he quickly went up and opened it, revealing a group of people. At the front of this group was Phil Coulson and Maria Hill, Fury’s right and left hand agents. Behind them, was a very odd group of boys.

“Agent Rogers,” Coulson greeted, stepping in and bringing the hoard of teenagers into the living room. “I don’t want to speak for them, so we will let you guys get introduced. We just stopped by to deliver them to you.”

“If you need anything, just call one of us.” Hill told them, before ushering Coulson out and closing the door behind them. Steve looked at Happy and Bruce, who also seemed concerned at the complete lack of actual directions for this mission. It was really going to be all on them.

“Alright, well let’s sit down. No reason to just stand here.” Happy huffed, sitting on one of the couches. Everyone else followed suit, not really sure what else to do. “I’m Agent Harold Hogan, but you can call me Happy.”

The boys looked at him confusedly, obviously wondering how the heck this grumpy-looking man got that nickname and actually liked it enough to want to go by it.

“I’m Agent Steve Rogers, but Steve is great. It’s nice to meet you guys.”

“Who doesn’t know Steve Rogers, the one and only Captain America?” one of the boys said, a slight annoyance evident in his tone. Steve was a little thrown off, but let it go. 

“I’m Doctor Bruce Banner...you can call me whatever you’re comfortable with. Bruce, Doctor Banner, Banner...it doesn’t really matter to me.”

“Now that you know us, let’s hear from you guys. Tell us a little about yourself or something. We’re living together now, so we may as well get to know our housemates. We can start with you on the end and work our way around.” Happy said, nodding at the teen sitting by the armrest of the couch directly across from him, which happened to be the same one that had spoken up earlier.

“You literally told us nothing about you guys except for your names and the fact that you work with S.H.I.E.L.D., which we already knew.” he rolled his eyes. “I’m Tony Stark. Parents died and left me all their money, but I can’t get it until I’m eighteen, so I’m getting to float through foster care for a couple years. Cyborg, your turn.”

No one was sure how to go about Tony’s rudeness to the boy with a metal arm sitting beside him, so they didn’t address it. The boy himself didn’t really look offended. He didn’t really look...any kind of way, actually. His features were completely neutral, except for his grey eyes that were sizing up the adults calculatingly and glancing around at the exits. 

“Bucky.” He said after a moment and everyone was positive that he wasn’t about to open up any more, so they moved on.

“Name’s Logan Howlett. I’m a mutant, so if you’ve gotta problem with it, I suggest you bite your tongue. I’m not real worried about gettin’ kicked out of this shit show, so don’t give me a reason to. I’ll take it.” Logan said, looking around challengingly as if this had indeed been a problem several times before, but no one was meeting his eyes.

“I’m Clint and I’m deaf, so...if I don’t answer you, I might not have my hearing aids in or I just didn’t hear you--they don’t even work half the time. Or I just don’t want to talk to you. It’s really a 50/50.”

“This is Peter Parker--he doesn’t speak. I’ve been in nine of the same foster homes as him in these past three years, since I joined the system.” The oldest kid said, pointing his thumb at the thin boy with a mop of soft brown hair and big doe eyes sitting beside him. Almost behind him, really, as he was practically hiding from everyone. “And I’m Wade Wilson. I have schizophrenia, so if you hear me talking to myself at any point, don’t worry...I’m just clinically insane. My mutant powers prevent me from being on meds and I can’t take mutant-suppressors to be able to take the meds, because I have cancer and my healing factor is actually keeping me alive. Bit of a pickle.”

“Well, I guess I’m last...I’m also Peter, but I usually go by my last name Quill...which actually works out pretty nicely, since there’s already a Peter I believe hiding behind Wade.”

Steve looked at the group of boys and realized that this mission was going to be harder than previously anticipated. Bruce was along the same lines, wondering just what they were going to have to deal with and wanting to pull up their records the second he got back to his computer. Why wouldn’t Fury have given them those before meeting them?

Happy just looked around at both the teenagers and the two adults he was partnered with and sighed. Yep, they were all screwed.

“Does everyone like pizza?” Steve offered. “I was thinking that we could get all settled in and then order some pizza. Quick and easy.”

“You had me at Pizza, Cap.” Clint told him. “Now where are these rooms? And who’s sharing with who?”

“Just group up by age for now...we can always tweak it in the next few days to find a good dynamic.” Happy said dismissively, pointing up the stairs. “It’s the three doors on the left side of the hallway.”

The boys all wandered up the stairs, trying to figure out how old they all were and who was going to be rooming with them the first night. 

“Okay, so the three-person bedroom is at the end of the hall.” Tony said, taking a peek in each of the rooms. “Since Wade is seventeen and Bucky and I are sixteen, we should take the three-bedroom. Then Clint and Quill can be in the middle room, because they’re both fifteen, and Peter and Logan can be in this one closest to the stairs."

“Interesting how you place yourself in the room right across from the bathroom, instead of putting Quill, Logan, and I together in that one, because we are all fifteen.” Clint said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Wade is seventeen--who would he bunk with? Peter? He’s fourteen. Grumpy Agent Man said to group by age, and that’s what I did. This way makes the most sense.” Tony defended. "Besides, the three-bed has a bathroom in it already, so we wouldn't even be using the hallway bathroom."

“Wow, even more interesting that you put yourself in that one.” Clint argued.

“This is stupid, guys. I know this is weird that we are supposed to pick our rooms--I sure as hell haven’t done this in a foster home before--but it’s not a big deal. They seem nice. Can we not get into a whole big thing and get thrown out the first night?” Quill mediated, wanting to put his backpack and duffel bag down already. “Let’s just do Tony’s plan for the night and see how it goes. Happy said we can switch in the future, if we want to.” 

Clint and Tony shared a charged glare for a second longer, before the latter rolled his eyes and walked off to his self-designated room.

***

The boys bounded back down the stairs after they had figured everything out and found Happy scrolling on his phone, still in the same spot on the couch. 

“What kind of pizza do you guys eat? I’m ordering it right now.” He asked them.

“Anything.” The teens said unanimously. Happy looked up at them and they looked uncomfortable, all being outed for their learned habits of constantly trying to not be a bother in their placement homes. 

“You guys can get whatever you want...it’s actually making it harder by not telling me, because ‘anything’ isn’t an option for me to order. So...speak up. What do you guys like?”

They all shared a hesitant look, before Tony and Quill said, “Pepperoni.” with Bucky nodding in agreement.

“I like plain cheese.” Clint told him, to which Logan approved with an affirmative grunt.

“Peter and I like Hawaiian.” Wade said.

“You like pineapple on your pizza?” Tony asked, a horrified look on his face. “I can’t live with them. I need an alternate placement immediately.”

“You heard the guy!” Clint said encouragingly, looking at Steve. “Kick him to the curb.”

Tony shot an annoyed look at Clint, who just sneered at him in return.

“No one is getting kicked to the curb.” Steve told them. “I know this whole thing is weird--it’s weird for us, too--but we’re going to figure it out together. This is a team effort and we all need to try our hardest to find a good vibe here.”

“And that’s on tonight’s episode of Cap Talk.” Tony said dramatically into an imaginary microphone.

“Okay, I’m ordering the Pizza. I’m getting Coke, Sprite, and Orange Fanta. That good with everyone?” Happy asked, finalizing the order. Everyone nodded. “Fantastic.”

***

The food arrived quickly and Steve set the boxes on the very long kitchen table that was somehow actually designed to fit all ten of them. They all took their seats and stared at the boxes excitedly. Bruce set a stack of plates and plastic cups on the table, before sitting down as well. 

Bruce, Steve, and Happy dug in and put their choice slices of pizza on their plates, unaware that the kids were waiting for permission. It wasn’t until Bruce had looked up from his food and noticed them glancing between the boxes and the agents expectantly, that he realized. None of them were used to having to allow simple things like that, so they hadn’t even contemplated that the teenagers wouldn’t just immediately attack the boxes, like they had at their age. 

“You guys can help yourselves. Take as much as you want.” Bruce told them with a friendly smile. That was all the encouragement they needed.

The boxes were grabbed within seconds, opened and emptied onto plates as if these kids hadn’t eaten in days. The adults shared a look with each other...maybe some of them really hadn’t eaten in days.

 _‘Thank you’_ Peter signed towards the adults when they happened to look at him. He quickly looked away with a red face, as if that was way too much interaction for him to handle with the intimidating agents. 

_‘Do you know ASL?’_ Clint signed to Peter from across the table, noticing the exchange. Peter nodded softly, to which Clint smiled. _‘I don’t know anyone else who signs.’_

 _‘Wade knows, too.’_ Peter told him, indicating to the boy next to him.

“I don’t mean to intrude on the conversation, but I actually know ASL as well...just in case anyone needs anything. You’re welcome to communicate with me that way.” Bruce offered, noticing the signing between them.

“This is awesome.” Clint said happily. “Nowhere I’ve been placed has ever had signers before.”

“Well, now that’s changed.” Steve told him.

“What are the house rules?” Quill asked and everyone looked at the adults, also wondering.

“House rules...uh…” Steve said, thrown off. “Normal ones? Can you give me examples of what you mean?”

“Like rules on kitchen access…can we touch the refrigerator? Or the pantry? Are there hours we aren’t allowed in here? Are we allowed in here when you guys aren’t in here?” Wade offered, his top priority obviously food.

“Or if we are allowed to leave our rooms if you guys aren’t out there to watch us. Are there hours we aren’t allowed to come out?” Tony added.

“Bathroom, too. Can we use the bathroom at night? I’ve had a few placements that didn’t allow it after ten, because the flush would wake them up and it would piss them off.” Clint said, earning a few nods from the others.

The agents were horrified. Where were these kids living before? Jail? What kinds of rules even were these?

“We aren’t here to make your lives Hell--we’re here to help you. That’s what this whole thing is. S.H.I.E.L.D. wants to make sure you guys get the help and guidance you need.” Happy told them.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. wants to make sure we don’t become villains, because we were on bad paths and we would pose a threat. You don’t need to sugarcoat it for us.” Tony said. “We are a bunch of unstable people--mostly with powers or genius-level intellect--and we made it onto their radar for one reason or another.”

The others nodded, having figured that out as well. Foster kids don’t just get placed with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents for no reason, after all.

“Yeah, Tony, you’re right...but that doesn’t change what we are doing here. We really are here to help you.” Bruce insisted. 

“There are no crazy rules like that. Help yourselves to as much food as you want whenever you want. We can always buy more. You guys can even help us go shopping and we can pick out things that you’d like to eat.” Steve told them. “That bathroom is for everyone, so be considerate--but use it whenever you need. I believe the three-person room actually does have a bathroom in it, because it’s a master bedroom, so whoever is in there should use that one. There’s also a half-bathroom down here. You are welcome to leave your rooms whenever you need to--it doesn’t matter where we are at the time.”

“Just like with the room arrangements, we can always tweak them as we go. If issues arise, then we can enact new rules. For now, I think that’s it.” Happy said.

The teenagers nodded in agreement. None of them were used to such a rule-free house before--even with their own birth families.

The rest of the dinner was fairly quiet, as they were all very focused on eating. It wasn’t until Wade reached slightly over Logan’s plate to grab more soda, that Logan’s loud snarl broke the silence. All eyes flew to him, surprised at how much he genuinely sounded like an animal. Wade retracted his hand quickly, putting it up in surrender to show that he wasn’t trying to take his food.

“Ooh, food aggression.” Tony acknowledged. “How exciting. Nobody touch Wolfie’s food.”

Steve looked at Logan with concern, but didn’t say anything. He really wasn’t sure what to say with any of this.

***

After dinner, the boys all made their way upstairs. Bruce went over to the kitchen counter and grabbed a folder, before bringing it to the table.

“I printed off their files because I was curious...did you guys want to take a look?” Bruce offered.

“Yeah, actually, I do.” Steve nodded. They opened the folder and started reading over the papers.

**_Wade Winston Wilson_ **

**_Aliases- Deadpool (codename in Weapon X)_ **

**_Current Age- 17_ **

**_Known Conditions- Mutant, Stage 4 prostate cancer, Schizophrenia, Depression, Suicidal tendencies, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder_ **

**_History- Parents unknown, raised in Weapon X organization as part of their mercenary program, subjected to extreme torture and mind control tactics from young age, resulting in a mental break. Causes him to be severely unstable and aggressive, with loose morals._ **

**_Threat Level- maximum_ **

**_Placements- 27, in 3 years_ **

_**James Buchanan Barnes** _

**_Aliases- Bucky, Winter Soldier (codename in Hydra)_ **

**_Current Age- 16_ **

**_Known Conditions- Dissociative Identity Disorder (two known identities: Bucky and Winter Soldier), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, mechanical arm_ **

**_History- Parents unknown, raised in Hydra organization as part of their mercenary program, subjected to extreme torture and mind control tactics from young age, resulting in a mental break. Causes him to be overly cautious or aggressive, depending on which Alter is in control._ **

**_Threat Level- maximum_ **

**_Placements- 4, in 6 months_ **

**_Anthony Edward Stark_ **

**_Aliases- Tony_ **

**_Current Age- 16_ **

**_Known Conditions- Certified genius-level intellect, alcoholic (has attended mandatory rehabilitation three times), drug addict (has attended mandatory rehabilitation two times), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder._ **

**_History- physical and mental abuse by father Howard Stark, Co-Founder of S.H.I.E.L.D., until his and his wife’s death in an alcohol-influenced car accident when Anthony was fifteen years old._ **

**_Threat Level- medium_ **

**_Placements- 6, in 3 months_ **

**_Peter Jason Quill_ **

**_Aliases- Quill, Star Lord (codename in Ravagers)_ **

**_Current Age- 15_ **

**_Known Conditions- human-alien hybrid (alien race: Celestial)_ **

**_History- kidnapped from Earth at a young age and raised by an alien thief group known as “ The Ravagers”. Returned to Earth at age thirteen by alien military “Nova Corp” after being taken into custody due to a Ravagers job gone wrong._ **

**_Threat Level- minimum (with possibility of raising to maximum, if full powers are developed, according to Nova Corp)_ **

**_Placements- 4, in 2 years_ **

**_Clinton Francis Barton_ **

**_Aliases- Clint, Hawkeye (codename in Black Market)_ **

**_Current Age- 15_ **

**_Known Conditions- mutant, deafness_ **

**_History- abandoned at young age, joined Black Market as a thief and occasional mercenary from ages ten to fourteen_ **

**_Threat Level- medium_ **

**_Placements- 3, in 1 year_ **

**_James Logan Howlett_ **

**_Aliases- Logan, Wolverine (codename in Weapon X)_ **

**_Current Age- 15_ **

**_Known Conditions- mutant, food aggression, animalistic aggression, adamantium surgically grafted to entire skeleton_ **

**_History- Parents unknown, raised in Weapon X organization as part of their mercenary program, subjected to extreme torture and mind control tactics from young age_ **

**_Threat Level- maximum_ **

**_Placements- 13, in 2 years_ **

**_Peter Benjamin Parker_ **

**_Aliases- Spider-Man_ **

**_Current Age- 14_ **

**_Known Conditions- mutant, anxiety-related selective mutism, anxiety disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder_ **

**_History- Parents were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. They, along with Peter, were kidnapped and tortured when Peter was seven. Parents were killed in front of Peter. Removed from foster home after eight months when sexual and physical abuse was discovered._ **

**_Threat Level- minimum_ **

**_Placements- 23, in 7 years_ **

“This is heartbreaking.” Steve sighed, leaning back and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“This is...really delicate. Why would Fury task us with them?" Bruce questioned. "They should be with therapists or something. Not us.”

“I’m not surprised at all.” Happy told them. “He put them with a hero, a doctor, and me--who was also in foster care. All people they could either trust or relate to.”

“You were in foster care?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah, my dad was a drunk. Roughed my mom and I up quite a bit, until he went too far. He killed my mom when I was thirteen and I killed him. Learned how to fight while I was locked up, and then started boxing. After a couple years, I started doing bodyguard stuff and Fury found me.”

“I didn’t know that about you.” Bruce said thoughtfully. “I really had no idea you were a boxer.”

“I had no idea that you’d been arrested. Usually S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn’t recruit ex-convicts.” Steve told him.

“Are you really trying to judge me? We can’t all be America’s favorite.”

“No, no!” Steve insisted quickly. “In your position...I’m almost positive I would have done the same. Especially with all the hormones and explosive temper I had when I was a teenager.”

“Well, if this is a competition of bad tempers… I think I’ve got you guys beat.” Bruce joked, chuckling lightly. “Hulk is the worst.”

“No way--can you actually turn into a big green rage monster? I totally thought that was a rumor.” Happy said, grinning widely.

“Not a rumor.” Bruce confirmed. “I’m on sedatives all the time to mellow me out and I have emergency high-powered tranquilizer injections that I have to keep on hand in case I feel myself start slipping. I haven’t had an episode in a few years, though, thank God.”

“The world is crazy.” Steve realized. “Like, really, really crazy.”

“That it is, Cap.” Happy agreed.

***

“I don’t know.” Wade said, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. “No, I really don’t--how dare you say that? Yes, I’m talking to you! How could you say that chimichangas aren’t at least on the top five best foods list? Who cares if tacos need to be on it, too? There are a whole four other spaces for the tacos!”

Tony was sitting on the bed below Wade’s, getting increasingly pissed off. He looked over to Bucky, who had gotten the single twin bed on the other side of the room and was twirling a pencil between his fingers skillfully. 

“Wilson, can you and your schizo friends shut up? Some of us would like some sleep tonight.” Tony said.

“I’ve been trying to get them to shut up for years--you got any ideas?” Wade replied, sitting up and leaning over the side of his bed to look at Tony.

“Why don’t you just stop replying to them out loud? Dark and Brooding over there isn’t saying anything, but he can’t sleep either.”

“That’s not totally because of him. I just don’t like sleeping in new places.” Bucky responded without even glancing at them.

“Damn, Babe, you were supposed to be on my side. I thought I felt us vibe from across the room--it was really beautiful. You didn't feel it? It was pretty strong.” Tony said, earning a very startled look from the other. Tony felt a little accomplished at that, since he hadn’t seen him express even one emotion since he had met the kid hours ago. It was starting to get creepy. “Wade, if you can’t be quiet, I am personally going to drag you out of this room, and Robo Cop’s going to help me.”

“I am not going to help you.” Bucky clarified. Tony chucked his pillow across the room at him and he didn’t even need to be looking to easily catch it and throw it back with his metal arm.

***

Clint had claimed the top bunk and disappeared up into it before Quill had even changed into his pajamas. He collapsed onto the bed, taking out his Walkman and putting his earbuds in, before blasting one of his favorite songs ‘Hooked on a Feeling’. He closed his eyes and began doing what could only be described as a little hand dance with his fingers to the music.

Despite the earbuds being in, it was definitely loud and could easily be heard. If anyone else was rooming with him, they probably would have gotten mad, but he happened to be with a deaf guy. It was perfect.

***

“Do ya hear that shit?” Logan asked angrily, sitting up in his bottom bunk and looking over at the wall. “Someone is blastin’ the worst music I’ve ever heard.”

Peter didn’t respond, but he did hear it. It was extremely faint and without his enhanced hearing, he definitely wouldn’t have heard it at all. He figured Logan must have had much stronger hearing than him, if he was so bothered by it.

About thirty seconds passed, before Logan hit the wall and Peter jumped, pulling his blankets around himself in an attempt to hide. This guy was pretty intense.

“I swear, if this is how it’s gonna be every fuckin’ night, I’m gonna lose it.” Logan grumbled, putting his pillow over his head in an attempt to block out the sound.


	2. t w o

Tony was just barely asleep, when there was a firm knock at the bedroom door.

“Breakfast is downstairs, if any of you would like to eat before school.” Steve said on the other side. “It’s the most important meal of the day, you know.”

“Of course Captain America is trying to teach us about our diets at six in the fucking morning.” Tony grumbled, rubbing his face with his hands in an attempt to try to wake up. He had barely gotten any sleep the night before, because of Wade’s extremely long conversation with himself about Mexican food.

Bucky sat up, stretching his arms above his head and looking the same as always--emotionless. He didn’t even look tired. Or maybe he looked tired yesterday, too, and he just looked the same today. It was hard to tell.

“Good morning.” Wade greeted them happily, jumping down from the top bunk.

“No,” Tony said, putting his hand up to stop him. “You don’t get to talk to me after the shit you pulled last night.”

“Oh, did I keep you guys awake?” he asked innocently, pulling a shirt over his head.

Tony turned to glare at him and Bucky cleared his throat, getting his attention. He shook his head once, telling Tony to just drop it. He rolled his eyes and started to put his own clothes on. Wade threw his pants and shoes on quickly and ran out to find the food. Once they were alone, Tony watched Bucky get dressed out of the corner of his eye and noticed something that made him turn to look fully at him.

“You wore that yesterday.”

“Uh, yeah. I...I don’t really have many clothes...and these aren’t dirty, so…” Bucky shrugged, looking down at his worn-out long sleeved shirt and faded jeans.

Tony looked him over for a moment, before rummaging through his belongings and pulling out two shirts. “You want long-sleeve or short-sleeve?”

“What?” Bucky asked, genuine confusion flashing across his face for a split second. “I have a shirt.”

“No, that’s one wear away from needing to be strictly a pajama shirt. It looks like you’ve been wearing it for years. You’re a bit more filled out than I am and a little taller, but we should be about the same shirt size. So, which one?”

“I can’t just take your shirt, Tony.”

“It’s not my shirt anymore--I’m giving it to you. It’s your shirt now. They both are, actually. I don’t need them.” Tony insisted, tossing them over to him. 

Bucky looked down at the clothes and wasn’t sure how to feel. The long sleeve shirt was a simple all-over navy blue and the short sleeve was just a regular red T-Shirt. Not too flashy. Exactly his style.

“I don’t know--” 

“Barnes, if you don’t put one of them on right now, I will come over there and force it over your head. Is that what you want?”

Bucky sighed, before changing into the navy blue one and running his flesh hand over the fabric on his chest. It was soft and thick--much better quality than his previous shirt, that’s for sure. He loved it.

“Thanks, Stark. Who knew you were more than an asshole?” Bucky teased, sending him a quick smile.

Tony nodded at him, glad to see some emotion get through his features. “I’m still an asshole. I just happen to have a soft spot for bad boys. Don’t tell anyone--it’s a pretty dangerous secret to get out.”

“Your secret’s safe with me, Doll.” He replied easily. Tony saw the brief shock on his face as he seemed to realize what he had said. He straightened up a bit and headed towards the door. “I’m gonna go eat.”

***

Within ten minutes of his announcement, Steve was watching the kids scramble to claim food like wild animals. Hands were fighting over the huge pile of bacon, scrambled eggs were being scooped onto plates with their personal spoons--who even knew where the original serving spoon was at this point--and the buttered toast was demolished.

“Well, I’m glad we ate before them.” Bruce chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I’ve never seen anything like this--they are completely vicious over food.” Happy noted.

“I know.” Steve said, shaking his head. “I’m Captain America and I would honestly be scared to put my hand in the middle of that.”

Once all of the food was taken and dished onto their plates, the movement and noise settled a bit.

“So, how did you all sleep last night?” Bruce asked them.

“I have a formal complaint to issue against Wade Wilson.” Tony told him, pointing at the seventeen year old that looked much more concerned about if there was enough salsa on his eggs than the complaint. “He talks to himself all night. Like, _all_ night. I think I now know more about why tacos have the ability to be better than chimichangas if made correctly, than I know about how to build a car engine, and that’s really saying a lot.”

“You never know when that knowledge could come in handy.” Clint shrugged, earning an excited head nod from Wade.

“Ezaly!” Wade said, with his mouth full. He pointed the serving spoon that he had taken from the eggs at Tony. “Yow 'elcome!”

“Keep yer food in yer mouth, Wade. I don’t wanna see that.” Logan grimaced at him. “I already have to listen to your chewin’--don’t push my limits.”

“We can change up rooms. Would anyone like to switch with Wade and be in Tony’s room?” Happy asked.

“Definitely not me.” Clint said.

Peter timidly pointed to Logan, volunteering him for the switch. Steve noticed and said, “Logan, would you want to move over to Tony’s room?”

“I don’ care. As long as I’ve gotta place to sleep, you can put me wherever.”

“Yeah, we’ll take Wolfie.” Tony nodded in approval. 

“There is a huge van in the garage, so once you’re done eating, I’ll drive you guys to school.” Steve said.

“I’m sure there's some sort of bus or subway or something that we can take.” Clint tried to refuse.

“I’m driving. I have to go take care of some things, anyway. It’ll be on my way.”

The kids exchanged awkward glances and cleared their plates. All of them were thinking the same thing: _you can’t just have your parents drive you in high school_! Steve wasn’t their parent, but he was the closest thing they had to one, so it applied.

“Okay, but you have to drop us off around the corner, so it looks like we walked.” Tony told him, having no shame in voicing the concern. “We can’t be the kids that Captain America drives to school.”

“Fine,” Steve laughed. “Let’s go.”

Steve led them to the black 2020 Nissan NV that was parked in the garage and all of them looked at it in awe.

“I don’t think I’ve ever ridden in a car this nice before.” Clint said honestly. “It’s like a small bus.”

They piled in and sat down in the three rows behind the front seats. The first and middle passenger rows had three leather seats and the back row had four. They could tell from the scent that this was a brand new car. Steve figured Fury must have bought it specifically for them when he gave them the assignment.

“Remember, around the corner.” Tony said, settling in beside Bucky and waving Logan over to sit on his other side, so that he was between them. Something about the slightly-feral guy intrigued him. 

“I’ll remember.” Steve promised, before pulling out of the garage and heading towards the local high school.

***

“Another first day of school.” Quill sighed as they walked onto the campus. “I have math first. How mad do you think Steve would be if I didn’t go and they called the house?”

“I don’t think it’s possible for Steve to get mad. He’s too...nice. I can’t imagine him angry.” Clint replied. Peter tapped his arm and signed something to him, and he translated, “Peter says Happy would probably be mad. He looks like he likes to get mad.”

“He does look kinda like he lives to get mad at things, huh?” Tony agreed. “I’ve got english first. What do you have, Buck?”

“English.” He barely had time to respond, before Tony was snatching his schedule out of his hand and looking it over.

“We have English, Art, and History together.” Tony told him happily, before handing it back.

“Quill, what teacher d’ya have fer math?” Logan asked, already getting annoyed.

“Ramirez. Why, do you have math with me?”

“Fuckin’ hell.” Logan groaned, starting off towards the class. Quill took that as a ‘yes’ and scurried off after him, happy to have someone else that he knew.

The rest of them followed suit, branching off to go in the directions of their classrooms.

Tony and Bucky walked into class and the latter put his metal hand in his pants pocket self-consciously. He knew it made people uncomfortable.

“You must be James and Anthony, correct?” The teacher asked kindly upon seeing them. “I have an empty desk in the back over there that you two are welcome to sit at. You came at the perfect time--we are just about to start our unit on The Great Gatsby!”

“Glad we didn’t miss it.” Tony gave her a thumbs up and strolled over to the desk in the corner. As soon as they were sitting, he leaned over and whispered, “Your name is James?”

“Yeah, but I don’t let people call me that. I just go by Bucky.”

“Where the hell did ‘Bucky’ come from?”

“My middle name is Buchanan.”

“James Buchanan Barnes...that’s such an old name.” Tony said thoughtfully, as if trying to judge how it felt in his mouth. “I like it.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Now shut up, Stark--I’m trying to pay attention.”

Tony chuckled softly, sitting back in his chair and turning his attention to the teacher again.

***

Lunch came soon enough and Tony, Bucky, and Logan ended up at one of the tables outside in the quad. They hadn’t made a prior arrangement to meet up, but they seemed to find each other, anyway.

“How in the world did Quill end up at the table with all those girls?” Tony commented, nodding his head towards a table across the quad. Quill was sitting on the table top, talking to a couple girls who kept giggling and touching their hair much more than necessary. “I don’t see the appeal at all.”

“They’ll run when they hear his music taste.” Logan assured him. 

“I wonder where Peter, Wade, and Clint are? I don’t see them out here.” Tony noted, looking around.

“You bored of us already?” Bucky chuckled, lightly kicking him under the table.

“No, I just like knowing everything.” Tony shrugged, turning his body back to face them. “Some people might say I’m nosey.”

“Some people?” Logan snorted.

“Yeah, it turns out that it’s not one of my favored traits.”

“I can’t imagine why.” Bucky shook his head. He could absolutely see why Tony might annoy the hell out of people, but there was something about the guy that he felt comfortable with. Talking to him was much easier than talking to other people.

***

After classes ended, they all met up in front of the school and walked back to the area they told Steve he could pick them up at.

“How was your first day, guys?” Steve asked as they got into the van. Just like that morning, Quill got into the first passenger row, slinging his backpack onto the seat beside him, Bucky, Tony, and Logan sat in the middle row, and Clint, Wade, and Peter sat in the back. 

“The library is really nice. There’s this area with huge windows and Wade, Peter, and I sat there during Lunch.” Clint said.

“I think he only wanted to sit with us so he could people-watch from the window, because that’s all that really happened.” Wade said, to which Clint rolled his eyes.

“So that’s where you guys were.” Tony said, looking back at him.

“Yeah, why?” Clint asked, confused as to why Tony even cared. It’s not like they made plans to meet up at lunch as a group or anything. He wasn’t planning on banding together or befriending any of them--he just liked being able to practice his sign language with Peter and Wade. This was just another temporary foster home, after all. He would be transferred and never see any of them again soon enough. There was no point in building friendships.

“He’s nosey.” Bucky told him.

Tony looked at the teenager next to him and clutched his hand over his heart, as if in pain. “So _you’re_ one of those people? I feel betrayed.”

***

Night finally came around and everyone made their way into their rooms after dinner. Wade moved his stuff over to Peter’s room and Logan came into Tony and Bucky’s, carrying the few belongings he had and looking up at the top bunk.

“I have to take top?” He groaned.

“What--are you more of a bottom type of guy?” Tony smirked at him, expecting to catch him off-guard. His shameless jokes usually did that to people.

Instead, he just winked at him and replied, “Don’t get yer hopes up, Darlin’.”

“I can switch with you. I don’t mind being on top.” Bucky said without missing a beat and Tony was the one to be shocked.

“Are we all talking about the same thing right now? Did I start something?” He asked, looking at them. He received no response.

Bucky climbed up the ladder to the top bunk and peered over the side so that he could see both of his roommates, and Logan took his shirt off, before collapsing onto the bed. 

“I can’t believe that outta anyone, I ended up havin’ over half o’ my classes with Quill. That kid plays bad music all the time, and when he wasn’t able to listen to music on his ancient walkman, he was tappin’ his pencils on his leg like he was drummin’! I can’t stand people who are that...happy.” Logan said.

“You know what I can’t believe? I can’t believe that Bucky’s real name is James and he doesn’t want to be called it. James is an awesome name. My name is Anthony. Thank God I can go by Tony--because that name wasn’t going to cut it for me.”

“My name is James, too!” Logan laughed--the first time anyone there had ever heard it. It was rough and Tony was pretty sure if he laughed hard enough, it would turn into a howl. He looked like that kind of person.

“Wait, _what_? You’re both James?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, I go by Logan because it’s the name I used when I took to the streets as a little kid. My brother made it up and I never went back to my real name.”

“What are the odds that I’m rooming with two Jameses that I unknowingly paired myself with?”

“Maybe the universe knew you had a thing for people named James and helped you out.” Bucky suggested, laying down.

“Seems like the only logical explanation.” Tony agreed. “Goodnight James one and two.”

Logan and Bucky exchanged a look with each other, wondering what they had started.


	3. t h r e e

Quill woke up and immediately noticed three things:

1: His headphones were still on, blasting music. He must have fallen asleep while listening to his Walkman the night before. He took them off and set the Walkman on the nightstand, before sitting up sleepily.

2: It was still pitch black outside his window. A glance at the digital clock told him it was just after three in the morning.

3: He had to shit. Really badly.

Of course he had to take a shit this late, instead of sleeping through the night like a normal person and just going when he woke up. 

He groaned, pulling himself onto his feet and shivering as he left the comfortable warmth of his bed behind. There was a soft light in the hallway so that people could see at night, but it still hurt Quill’s tired eyes. He quickly snapped his eyes shut, not wanting to be blinded, and decided to just feel his way to the bathroom instead. If he went through the pain of letting his eyes get used to the light, he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep as easily--and that was not an option, He had school in a few hours. He shuffled to the door and put a hand on the wall as he walked to help guide him to the bathroom. When he finally made it, he noticed that the door was open. Of course it was--normal people weren’t awake and going to the bathroom at three in the morning. He had used this restroom multiple times, so he had a pretty good idea where the toilet was without looking. He pulled his pants down, not bothering to shut the door. There was no one awake, anyway. The second he sat down, he realized something was wrong. Instead of feeling a toilet seat, he felt something...warm.

Quill and the person he’d just sat on screamed, and Quill jumped off of his lap to quickly pull his pants up. He opened his eyes and looked at the very startled boy, who was grabbing the shower curtain and pulling it over his lap to cover himself.

“What the hell, Wade?!” Quill exclaimed in a harsh whisper. 

“You’re the one that sat on _me_!” Wade defended, squinting against the hallway light.

“Why wasn’t the door closed?”

“I didn’t want to turn on the bathroom light, because it would be too bright...but I don’t like the dark, so I wanted the hall light to still come in a bit. Why did you sit on me, though? You can see me from the hall light!”

“My eyes were closed! How did you not see _me_?”

“I was asleep! I came in here to take a shit and then I must have passed out. I was tired!”

“Who sleeps on the toilet?”

“Who walks around with their eyes closed?” 

A door beside the bathroom opened and Steve came out into the hallway.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, having overheard the whisper-yelling.

“Quill tried to poop on me!” Wade called from inside the bathroom.

“Did he say Quill tried to poop on him?” Tony asked from his doorway, an amused expression on his tired face.

“That’s not the whole story!” Quill defended himself.

“Okay, regardless of what happened, no one should be pooping on anyone.” Steve said, mildly shocked that he even had to have this conversation with high schoolers. “Quill, if someone is in the bathroom, you need to wait until they’re done to go.”

“I am so glad that I don’t share a bathroom with you idiots.” Tony snickered.

“Tony, we don’t need to name-call. Go back to bed.” Steve scolded him.

“Sir, yes, sir.” Tony said, rolling his eyes and saluting him, before returning to his room and shutting his door behind him.

"I’m going back to sleep. Take turns.” Steve told them, before disappearing back into his own room.

Quill turned back to Wade and crossed his arms over his chest. “Can you get up, so I can take a shit already?”

“Let me wipe my ass and I’ll be out of your hair.” Wade replied. “Can you turn around or something? I don’t have any pants on, if you haven’t noticed.”

Quill huffed in annoyance and turned around, saying “If you don’t hurry up, I swear to God--I’ll go in the tub.”

***

The school day passed by quite uneventfully compared to the night before and soon enough, they were piling back into Steve’s van to go back to the house. The second they made it home, Tony all but dragged Bucky and Logan to their room.

“So, what’s the plan?” Tony asked them, once the door was closed. The two guys looked between each other, totally confused.

“What d’ya mean?” Logan questioned, sitting on his bed.

“Do you realize what day it is?”

“April first?” Bucky told him, not really grasping the significance.

“Yes...April Fool’s Day!” Tony said. “You guys don’t know about April Fool’s day? It’s a day literally dedicated to pranking people. It’s a holiday.”

“I was raised by Hydra...we didn’t celebrate that.” Bucky told him awkwardly.

“Yeah, I had a similar situation.” Logan agreed. Bucky looked slightly relieved that he wasn’t the only one deprived of these kinds of things.

“Well, now you’re with me, and I will graciously show you the ropes.” Tony told them. He felt a pang of concern at the knowledge that his roommates came from two very well-known terrorist groups, but figured he’d wait to ask about it at a different time. “We need to come up with a prank to pull on someone. My vote is on Clint, because he has a stick up his ass and he annoys me.”

“I don’t think I ‘m going to be good at coming up with something. Maybe you should decide.” Bucky said.

“Something simple...classic.” Tony said, thinking. “I’ve got it. We can fill his room with a bunch of plastic cups of water. It’s not too extreme, but it’s super annoying. What do you think?”

“That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.” Logan deadpanned.

“Do you have a better one?” Tony asked, knowing that he in fact did not. When he was met with only silence, he said, “That’s what I thought. Now, we will need to get both him and Quill out of their bedroom and distracted for a while.”

“We can look if there are any good movies in the entertainment center in the living room? Maybe that could distract them.” Bucky suggested.

“Good plan, Barnes. Let’s go investigate.” Tony said, leading the way downstairs. When he got to the entertainment center, he crouched down and began rummaging through the cabinets. He was only looking for maybe thirty seconds, before he pulled out a black gaming controller and grinned up at the boys. “There’s an Xbox in here, with a lot of games. Two remotes.”

***

Five minutes later, Clint and Wade were on the couch, competitively trying to beat each other in a racing game, while Peter and Quill watched excitedly. Tony, Bucky, and Logan had already made it upstairs with the five bags of plastic cups they had found in the kitchen. They weren’t sure why there were even so many bags of cups in the kitchen, but it worked out in their favor.

“Okay, fill the cups up with water in the bathroom and then put them everywhere. We need to cover the beds, desks, and dressers first...then we can move onto the floor. We’ve got to work quickly and quietly. You’ve received your missions--now let’s get going!”

The three of them ran back and forth, filling the cups to the brim with water from the sink and placing them close together over all of the surfaces in the small room. When they were finally done, they stood out in the hallway, looking in to admire their work.

“Tony, Bucky, Logan--you guys up there? Dinner is ready.” Bruce called, starting up the stairs.

“Go, go, go.” Tony hissed, ushering his roommates towards the stairs to prevent Bruce from seeing their prank and getting mad.

Everyone sat around the table, digging into the salad and spaghetti right away. They had been there about a week now and had come to understand that they didn’t need to wait for permission to eat.

“I love Caesar salad.” Clint said, taking a bite.

“You know what’s great? Tomato Mozzarella salad. It’s just Tomatoes, Mozzarella cheese balls, and balsamic. I could make it for us sometime.” Wade offered, twirling his pasta around his fork.

“I actually did want to talk about that. Taking turns making dinner and doing some chores and stuff. Get this house functioning now that we’re all settling in.” Steve said. “I was thinking about having a household meeting this weekend. Is there a time you guys would want to do that?”

“I’m busy on Friday night...I’m going out with some friends.” Quill told him. “Could we do Saturday or Sunday?”

“I’m willing to bet that I speak for everyone when I say that Sundays are reserved for cramming in all of our homework and studying, so...Saturdays seem like the best time.” Tony said.

“Okay, let’s meet up in the living room on Saturday around 4PM, then.” Steve declared, nodding.

***

After dinner, everyone returned to playing the XBox, except for Tony, Bucky, and Logan, who made their way upstairs and began getting ready for bed.

“Barton’s gonna be pissed.” Logan said as he stripped down to his boxers and grabbed his pajamas. He brought them into the bathroom with him, but left the door open. “They’re not gonna come up here until they’re half asleep--and then they’re gonna look in their room and lose their shit.”

“Then hurry up with your shower, so you can protect me if he comes in and tries to kill me!” Tony reasoned. 

Logan poked his head out and gave him a _‘really?’_ look, before disappearing back into the bathroom and turning on the shower. “I’ll leave the door open. Yell if ya need me.” 

“I think I’m mildly offended that you don’t think I could protect you from Clint.” Bucky said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I have no doubts that you can kick some serious ass, Terminator.” Tony chuckled, looking the boy up and down appreciatively. “However, I prefer both of you.”

***

As predicted, the others did not come upstairs until a quarter to midnight. Logan looked up from where he was sitting on his bed, and listened, hearing the footsteps heading up.

“They’re comin’ up.” He said, a slight grin on his face as he awaited the reaction. He did not have to wait long.

“TONY!” Clint screamed, throwing open Tony’s bedroom door.

“I’m kind of busy balancing these chemistry equations right now...what’s up?” Tony asked from his desk. He turned in his chair to look at him, feigning innocence.

“Tony, you just flooded my fucking room!” Clint said angrily.

“I did not flood your room. Scout’s Honor.” He said, holding up his right hand. “Why do you assume it was me?”

“You’re not a damn scout! Quill and I walked right into the room and kicked the cups and they spilled everywhere! Our room is covered in water!”

“Why would you kick the cups, Barton? You should really watch where you’re walking--you never know when someone might fill your room with cups of water.”

“You little--” Clint was cut off by a large thud from his room. A couple seconds later, Quill came out into the hallway, dripping wet.

“The flooding situation has unfortunately taken a turn for the worse.” Quill announced, rubbing his side.

“Did you dive into the cups or something? Why are you soaked?” Clint asked him.

“I went in to start taking some off of my bed, but I slipped on the water and, well...yeah, I knocked over a lot more.”

"Are you kidding me, Quill?”

“See--that’s not my fault. You’ve got a halfwit in your room--that’s way worse than my prank.” Tony said, snickering at the teenager in the hallway. 

“I’m not a halfwit! You’re a halfwit!” Quill told him.

Tony gave him a cocky grin and said, “I have an IQ of 270, making me a certified super genius. I speak six languages fluently. I spent ages thirteen to fifteen getting a masters degree in engineering from MIT and if I hadn’t come back here after my parents bit the dust, I’d be halfway to my second masters degree in the subject. I actually worked something out with them and I’ll be starting the artificial intelligence masters program online in a couple of weeks. Remind me again why you think you are more intelligent than me?”

Quill knew there was no way to counter that, and he didn’t think it was even worth trying. He simply shook his head and walked out.

“Thanks to you, I need to go clean up the pool in my room. Watch yourself, Stark.” Clint warned, before following after Quill.

Once they left, Bucky got up and shut the door.

“I knew you were smart, but I didn’t realize you were _that_ smart. Was all that stuff true?” He asked, his eyebrows raised in interest. He’d never met someone this smart--even during his time in Hydra.

“Yep. My brain is worth quite a bit.” Tony confirmed, returning his attention to the equations on his homework, which he was balancing quickly without much thought.

“Why’re ya in high school still, if you’ve already graduated college?” Logan asked, confused.

“I actually skipped high school entirely and tested directly into college, so I never got a high school diploma. When the parents died, the state thought I should be a normal kid or something and forced me back into high school. I think it was actually just to keep me off the street for more hours in the day.”

“That’s really awesome, Tony.” Bucky complimented him. Tony bit his lower lip slightly to hide his smile at the praise and shrugged. 

“What languages d’ya know?” Logan wondered. 

“English, obviously. Also, Italian, French, Russian, Arabic, and Spanish.” Tony told them. “I spent my entire childhood in homeschool with a piece of shit father and a mother that didn’t really want to stand up to him, so...I had a lot of free time in my room. Languages are fun.”

If there was one thing Tony hated, it was opening up. Just that little bit of information he had given out was making his skin crawl and anxiety begin climbing up his spine. He subconsciously brought his hand up to tap his collar bone--a nervous habit he had formed over the years.

Logan was trained by Weapon X as a destructive force to kill whoever needed to be offed, so he never learned to pay too much attention to mannerisms. Bucky, however, was a spy and a mercenary, so he had extensive training in reading body movements and picking up on habits. He noticed the slight shift in Tony’s body immediately. His shoulders had turned in more and his knee began bouncing slightly as he tapped at his chest. He could clearly see the anxiety coursing through him.

Bucky was extremely awkward with physical contact. He never received any apart from punishments during his time in Hydra, so he wasn’t completely sure how to comfort someone. He wasn’t even sure it was his place to do so, but Tony was the closest person he’d ever had to a friend, so he decided to put his flesh hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

“Hydra taught me Spanish, Portuguese, German, Russain, Latin, and Japanese. So I’ve got one up on you, Tony.” Bucky joked, trying to distract him.

“I learned Spanish while livin’ on the streets, and then Weapon X taught me Japanese, Russain, and French. You’re both ahead of me.” Logan chuckled.

“We’ve got to teach Bucky French, so he can speak the language of love with us.” Tony said, looking up to smile at his long-haired roommate.

“I think it’s time for you to go to bed, Punk.” Bucky told him, lightly pushing his head playfully.

***

“This is a disaster.” Wade noted, standing in the doorway of Clint and Quill’s room. Quill was pushing water around the ground with an already-soaked rag and Clint was fuming as he threw towels all over the floor. 

“Yeah, tell me about it. I’m gonna kill Stark.”

“Or you could prank him back.” Wade suggested. “I could help, if you want.”

“That’s a great idea--we can start a prank war! The three of us versus Tony, Bucky, and Logan. It’s perfect!” Quill approved.

Clint looked between the two of them and a mischievous smile formed on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this update came so late! I spent the last few days planning out where this story is going, because I did decide to turn it into a full-length book! I have so many fun ideas planned for you guys! You can now expect daily updates, since I know exactly where the story is going. I'm so excited to write this book out!
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated so much! I love to hear your opinions on the book!


	4. f o u r

“Kitten, wait up!” Quill called out to the girl walking a few paces in front of him in the crowded school hallway. He caught up to her and she looked over at him with mild annoyance in her soft features. She had bright hazel eyes and straight brown hair that was held loosely in a ponytail. 

“My name is Kitty, not Kitten.” She corrected him. “You’ve been sitting with my group for a week--you should know that.”

“I do know.” He chuckled. “Are you coming to get food with us after school today? You didn’t give a straight answer at lunch.”

“Oh, and watch you flirt with all of my friends the whole time, and resist the urge to smack them when they start drooling? Tempting, but I think I’ll pass. They are pretty unbearable to be around since you waltzed in and wooed them all.”

“Would you rather me be flirting with you?” He smirked, obviously looking her up and down.

“No, thanks.” She scoffed, shooting him a glare when his eyes made it back to hers. “I’m not as attention-starved as my friends, so I’m not going to fall for you the second you give me a half-assed compliment. I love them, but it’s ridiculous how smitten they are with you already. You’re not going to add me to that list.”

“I’m not trying to add you to a list, I’m trying to get you to come out with us tonight.”

“I already told you--I’m not going.”

“Come. Please.” he insisted, grabbing her wrist lightly and turning her to face him. “I want you to.”

“And just because Quill wants something, it should happen?” She challenged, cocking her eyebrow up at him.

“I like to think so.”

Kitty stared at him for a moment, before sighing and saying, “Fine, I will _think_ about it. Maybe.”

“I’ll be thinking about you, too, Kitten.” He said, smiling at her.

“That’s not--”

“I’ll see you after school.” He told her, before heading into his next class. She stood there, shaking her head.

Peter Quill was really something.

***

“Hey, mutie!” Flash Thompson called out to Peter as he was getting a book from his locker. He didn’t bother addressing him, which seemed to annoy the older boy. He pushed Peter’s shoulder and slammed the locker shut, before stepping closer to him. “What--you think you’re too good to even look at someone when they’re talking to you? News flash: you’re not. What’s wrong with you, anyways? Why don’t you talk?”

Like always, Peter wasn’t sure what to do. He obviously couldn’t just respond to the kid--what did he expect? No matter how hard he tried, words just refused to leave his mouth when he was out of his Spider-Man costume. The second the mask was on, he couldn’t shut up, but he just wasn’t secure enough to do so as Peter Parker. His anxiety was too bad.

He didn’t have to worry for too long, because before he knew it, Flash was being shoved backwards. He nearly fell straight onto his back, but managed to grab onto the handle of one of the lockers at the last second to stabilize himself.

Wade stood in front of Peter, towering over Flash. He was very muscular for his age and his dark eyes and sharp jawline made him look intimidating when he wanted to. Peter had never been on the receiving end of one of his dangerous looks, but he’d seen them given to many other people over the time he’d known the older boy.

“I suggest you back the fuck up, before we have an issue.” Wade threatened, taking another step towards Flash. Peter saw a glint of fear in Flash’s eyes, before the kid regained his composure.

“I was talking to Parker, not you.” he told him. He was obviously trying to sound braver than he was coming across. There was an unmistakable shakiness in his voice.

“Well, now you’re talking to me.” Wade said, crossing his arms over his chiseled chest and making his biceps bulge more in his tight black T-shirt. “So, what are we talking about?”

Flash’s eyes flickered over to the smaller boy, before meeting Wade’s eyes again and clenching his jaw, annoyed. He held the eye contact for a few seconds, before he finally just let out an indignant huff and hurried away from them with his chin turned up.

“You good, Pete?” Wade asked, turning back to look at him as his features and posture softened. Peter smiled and nodded his head.

 _You didn’t need to do that.’_ Peter signed to him. _‘I can handle myself around people like him. Believe it or not, I am pretty durable.’_

“I’ve always got your back.” Wade told him. “Asshats don’t get to touch my best friend without some damage.”

_'I know. Thank you.’_

“Anytime. If you need me to fuck that kid up, just let me know. He’s getting on my nerves.” Wade told him with a wink that made Peter giggle softly, blowing air out of his nose. “I’ve gotta get to PE. See you after school.”

Peter nodded and watched Wade take off down the hall.

He may have been Spider-Man, but he appreciated how Wade had always looked out for him over the past few years. He knew he always would.

***

Classes ended quickly and Quill met up with his friend group out in front of the school at 2:30pm. He couldn’t help but grin when he saw Kitty stroll up to the group.

“You came.” he commented.

“I’m hungry.” she replied.

“Good thing we’re getting pizza, then.” one of the girls in the group, Jubilee, said.

“Thank the Gods--I’ve been starving all day.” Teddy groaned, holding his stomach.

“You’re always starvin’, Teddy.” Rogue drawled as she rolled her eyes, adjusting her long gloves over her elbows. 

“Excuse me for coming from two species that eat much more than you humans.” Teddy defended himself. 

“Like you even know what your species is like. You’ve been raised by humans.” Jubilee countered.

“I’ve done research on Skrulls and Kree, actually. There isn’t a whole lot of information out there, but I’m at least 20% sure that I read something about them having big appetites.” 

“I actually have lived in space for many years and I can verify that they have bigger appetites.” Quill backed him up. He turned to Teddy and said, “These humans just aren’t at our level enough to wrap their minds around alien things. We’re too advanced for them.”

“You’re both so fulla shit.” Rogue chuckled. “Are we goin’?” 

“Yeah, let’s get walking now that the whole gang's here.” Quill agreed.

Teddy walked ahead of everyone, leading the way to his favorite pizza joint. He was much too hungry to worry about socializing. Jubilee and Rogue talked about some store that was having a great sale near the pizza place that they wanted to go to, but it obviously didn’t peak Kitty’s interest. She walked behind them, next to Quill.

“I’m glad you came.” he told her.

“I came for the pizza...and now I wish I hadn’t, because it’s freezing out here.”

“Take this.” Peter said, immediately shrugging off his maroon leather jacket and setting it over her shoulders.

“You don’t have to give me this, Space Boy.” She said awkwardly, obviously debating on if she should actually take it. Another small gust of wind rushing through the street forced her decision and she slipped her arms in the warm sleeves quickly.

“My pleasure. I’m not too affected by temperature, honestly. I just wear a jacket because I like how it looks.” Quill shrugged. “It’s Star Lord, by the way. That was my ‘Space’ name.”

“What was space like?”

“Big. Scary. Beautiful.” Quill answered, not really sure how else to describe it. “I’m going back one day. When I’m old enough to get out of the whole foster system thing. I’m going back out there. There’s so much to discover and do off of this planet. Terrans--that’s what Earth-dwellers are called--seem to be content with this planet being their everything, but I’m not.”

“If I was able to leave Earth and go into space, I totally would. It seems exciting.” Kitty told him, looking up at the sky. It was hard to imagine that there was an entire universe out there that they couldn’t see. 

“There’s no reason you can’t...when you’re an adult, I mean. You’re welcome to join me.”

“Not sure if I’d be able to deal with you for very long. I’d probably kill you before we even left the atmosphere.” Kitty told him. Part of her was a little happy that Quill seemed to want her in his future. She couldn’t deny that he was attractive and pretty smooth in a stupid, slightly-asshole kind of way. She wouldn’t call it a crush yet, but it wasn’t like that was impossible to imagine. 

“Well, the offer stands.”

***

The sun had begun going down and for the first time since Peter had moved into this house, he put on the Spider-Man costume. He missed patrolling. It was the only time when most of his anxiety subsided and he could relax, which was an odd concept, seeing as it was also when he was fighting criminals and risking his life.

“Back at it again, huh?” Wade asked, slinking into their room and shutting the door behind him. He had known about Peter’s secret hero identity since the young teen had taken up the mantle a year prior. He even helped him make his suit, which he definitely had some creative inspiration for from his own Deadpool suit.

“Yeah, someone’s gotta protect the little guy, right?” Spider-Man asked, sliding the window open carefully.

“I guess...you wouldn’t want some company, would you? I’m bored.”

“You know you’re always welcome on my patrols, as long as you don’t...you know...kill anyone.”

“Ugh, you know I hate that word!” Wade cringed, grabbing his black and red leather bodysuit from the top shelf of the closet. “But I promise that I won’t un-alive anyone...unless necessary.”

“Good enough.” Spider-Man laughed. He sat on the window sill and looked at the amount of web-fluid in his web shooters. He was about halfway empty...he would need to make more very soon. 

Wade stripped down to his boxer briefs and Spider-Man tried to not stare. He was glad that his mask covered his face, because he was definitely blushing. Wade had the best body that he had ever seen in his life and it quite frequently made him forget how to breathe or think straight.

Finally, Deadpool stood before him, strapping his last few weapons into the various holsters on his outfit. There were two katanas on his back, one pistol on each hip and several knives on his thighs and biceps.

“Alright, Spidey, let’s go!” Deadpool said, tackling Peter out the window.

“Deadpool!” Peter yelped, frantically shooting a web out and pulling them into a swinging motion before they splattered on the ground. “Are you trying to kill us?”

“I would never try to kill you! I’m just keeping you on your little Spider toes.” he answered, holding onto the younger boy as they swung over the city. “I’ve missed this. It’s so beautiful up here.”

“I’ve missed it, too.”

It did not take them long to find criminal activity--it was New York City at night, afterall--and they touched down onto the ground. There were two masked men walking into a gas station, obviously armed and ready to start some trouble.

By the time Spider-Man walked into the building, the men already had their guns pointed at the thin, terrified cashier, who was shakily trying to get the money out of the register.

“Well, this isn’t very nice, guys. C’mon...Friday night...don’t you have better things to do?” Spider-Man asked, drawing the robbers’ attention. One of them kept their gun on the man behind the counter, while the other now had his pointed at the masked hero.

“Stay out of this Spider-Man. This is none of your business.”

“None of my...what? Did you just tell me that robbing the neighborhood gas station is not my responsibility to stop, as the friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man?”

Spider-Man quickly leaped forward and knocked the gun out of the man’s hand, before kicking him backwards into a shelf. He tumbled to the ground, but the friend attempted to run around Spider-Man and out the door. Deadpool easily grabbed him by his arm and twisted it painfully behind his back until the man dropped his gun and let out a small whimper. 

“I’d go let him web you up until the cops come, if I were you...if I deal with you, it’ll be a lot messier.” Deadpool said, before shoving the man roughly towards the hero. 

“Are you okay?” Spider-Man asked the cashier as he webbed the robbers’ feet to the ground and their hands behind their backs.

“Uh, y-yeah...thanks.” The frail man said, nodding. 

“If you could call the police for me, that would be awesome.” 

“Yes, of course. I-I’ll call right now.” The cashier agreed, grabbing the store phone with trembling hands.

“Okay, well have a good night!” Spider-Man said, pushing Deadpool out the door and walking out into the chilled air. He could feel it through his suit--he really needed to start wearing some kind of long underwear or something underneath the spandex.

“I’m hungry.” Deadpool announced.

“We ate a little while ago, though.”

“Are you calling me fat, Spidey?”

“No!” he laughed, checking him out as subtly as possible. “You definitely aren’t fat, DP.”

“Thank the Gods--I almost cried. I have delicate feelings, you know.”

Spider-Man rolled his eyes, even though he knew Deadpool wouldn’t be able to see it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you like this!
> 
> If you want to support me even more, you could follow [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/marvel-obsessed-chick)


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